I had a sleepless night last night. Sort of a melt down because my husband fell again. It brought up worries that he is heading towards being just like my mother whom I just put in the rest home only a few days ago. What is going to happen to him? What will happen to me? What if I can't take care of him by myself? What if I can't take care of myself?
I had myself all worked up.
Then tonight I read a story about a woman that allowed a stranger to help her walk on a slack line. A slack line differs from a tight rope in that it does not have the tight tension in the rope,...thus the use of the word slack... When she stepped up on the rope it vibrated wildly, she became afraid and tensed up trying to steady herself by fighting the movement. The stranger said, " Don't mind that, it's just your nerves, look straight ahead and bend your knees. I am right here you can hold onto me until you get your balance."
That spoke volumes to me! It is not the circumstances but my nerves that is making the ground under my feet vibrate wildly so I feel I will never find balance. It is me. If I look straight ahead, bend my knees (prayer) and hold onto Jesus until I get my balance in this new circumstance, the foundation will become solid. It isn't vibrating, I am.
The stranger also wrote a poem about fear.
One part was, Are you afraid of dying, or just afraid you will never get to live?
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